Saturday, May 26, 2012

Watch Out for Scam Ads – Crab Stick Salad

If you’re entertaining an idea to click on an ad on my sidebar, I have a huge favor to ask you – please do not! Do net ever even think about such a stupid thing. No, I’m serious, as I was told couple of weeks ago (well, I’d rather say – as I was officially informed by Google AdSense anti-fraud investigation team) each time one of you has this brilliant idea “Boy, that should be interesting – I’d better check out this site”, or “Hm, this Mrs Lovett thing is kinda fun, so in order to help her somehow I’d click on the ad –this way she might make some money” (which I desperately need, since I still haven’t found my “inspirer”, and revenge is something that still keeps me awake at night), or if you’re just not careful enough to watch where your mouse is pointing – know, you’re committing a crime against humanity. Well, rather against me, but I’m humane, therefore, my little hyperbola works, right? You must be demanding evidence or at least some explanation. Well, I was not given any, but I’ll do my best and provide you with my guess – you all guys look suspicious, and me, of course, being the most suspicious person ever since the time of Count Olaf, must be leading some sort of international scamming gang. So no, no money left on my account, everything returned to advertisers. Thus, I would even tell you – I’m foreseeing your disappointment as well, coz’ you were accused as well, and what’s even more revolting – you were robbed of your precious time and attention.

But you know what’s funny? Remember the last time I saved you $100 on shrink. Today I’ve got one more limited-time offer just for you and only you! Are you depressed and sad? Your husband left you for some 18-year-old b… bad lady? Your kids take drugs? Aliens have abducted you? Trust which took care of your retirement funds bankrupted? Well, I’ll tell you what, that all doesn’t matter anymore! Take a look at the bright side of things! You deserve so much more than your husband has to offer, your kid tends to be in a good mood, and pension – phew, there are so many opportunities (especially if you can provide some unique insiders info on aliens! You know how much unique content matters) to earn online than no one really needs pension. By saying this I only mean that whenever the trouble comes you should use it for your benefit. And that’s precisely what I did! Interested how? Do not navigate away from this page, keep reading.

This whole ads story sounds pretty crazy and even ridiculous, which made me think of some food ingredient which must be no less ridiculous and weird and even pretentious just like the sincere apologies that none business can be done further with such little cheater as me. And do you know anything that will suit this description better than crab sticks? Honestly, if calling that things “sticks” might be justified, why lie about crabs? I mean, fish swim in the ocean as well as crabs do, but I never saw them snapping anyone, unless that were sharks (and in that case I doubt there will be a lot of talks about events witnessed). Thus being said, please welcome my new little creation –

Crab Sticks Salad

You will need:
10                          Crab sticks
3                            Eggs
5 oz                        Cheddar cheese
1 can                      Corn


1. Boil eggs until done. Cool them down.
Tip: keep eggs boiling at least 10 minutes for egg yellows to harden enough.

2. Grate cheese.

3. Peel eggs and grate them.

4. Cut crab sticks into medium pieces.

5. In a salad bowl combine grated cheese, eggs, cut crab sticks and corn.
Tip: for ingredients to mix better add them gradually by layers.

6. Dress with mayonnaise, add salt. Mix thoroughly.

7. Crab Stick Salad is ready to be served. Bon appetite!

So, once again, never forget to look for a silver lining in a cloud that covers your sun and happiness. And watch out for speculators, my dears, remember – the biggest gift you can give someone is your time.

Sincerely yours,
Mrs Lovett

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