Do you often talk to your shrink? I don’t. Actually, I don’t even have a shrink, but sometimes we all want to feel human. So today I followed what my shrink (my saviour, my genius, the main man in my life) would have recommended – I stepped back, paused and reevaluated my actions and contacts. You are always welcome to borrow this precious piece of advice and safe yourself $100/hour.
But let’s get back to mine self-exploration. Shame on me, my discovery was that I did not treat you fair enough. When trying to make you read my blog, I tempted you with the promise to bring you new extraordinary culinary experiences. And none of them were brought, so today is the day to finally fix all the injustice ever done to you on my part and save my suffering soul from eternal agony.
This is not going to be painful… There will be none new unexpected flavors and combinations… I will not even ask you to simmer the meat all night long in order to get the best juice extract for the sauce. No, everything will be plain and simple – easy one-pot meal. But there is one “dark side of the moon” to it. Stalin himself tasted this dish. He might have even offered it to Hitler during their secret negotiations… There was some evil plot drawn, I have no doubts about that. Why else would traditional Uzbek food be cooked by every decent self-respecting soviet housewife? What is the reason for Kazakhs and Afghans to consider it their own traditional food? How come so long after USSR is gone and forgotten and forbidden to speak about it still is prepared as a treatment on a festive table of post-communist countries citizens? With KGB you can never be sure…
Shortly speaking, if you are smart enough, you will keep yourself away from these dark waters. But if you’ve made up your mind and decided to risk it, here goes the recipe.
Plov
You will need:
2 pounds Pork
2 cups Rice
3 Onions
3 Carrots
1 Garlic clove
Vegetable oil
Water
Ground black pepper
Salt
Other spices to your taste
Note: originally lamb or mutton has to be used as meat, and proportions should be a little different. But I present here adapted recipe which accounts for average grocery stores product range and average stomach capabilities.
Method:
1. Bring 3 cups of water to boil. Put rice in a bowl or pot, cover it with boiling water. Cover and leave it aside for now.
2. Cut meat into medium-sized cubes.
3. Pour vegetable oil into heavy-bottom pot, at list 1 inch thick layer. Heat it up on high heat.
4. Carefully transfer meat into the pot. Add little salt and ground black pepper. Fry it until meat covers with golden-brown crust. Reduce heat to medium.
Tip: when you add meat, oil turns brown and “dirty”. Wait until it clears again before adding next ingredient.
5. Meanwhile cut onions and carrots.
6. Add onions to meat. Fry until they get soft.
7. Add carrots to the pot. Fry until they soften.
8. Remove all excess water from rice. Transfer rise into the pot.
Tip: best cooks keep ingredients laid out in careful layers, but I found that unless I keep stirring everything, bottom layers always burn.
9. Cover everything with water so that it reaches 1 inch above rice.
10. Add salt, pepper and other spices to your taste. Stir plov. Reduce heat to minimum. Cover pot with the lid.
Tip: I usually add some fried herbs such as basil and sage.
11. After plov has been simmering for 15 minutes, dig shallow hole in rice with the spoon. Put clove of garlic into it, cover with plov.
12. Simmer for 40 more minutes. Stir occasionally and add water when needed to keep bottom layers from burning.
13. Plov is ready to be served. Bon appétit.
Here we go. Plov is ready, I’m still alive, no sign of KGB around (but my husband looks strangely suspicious – is it because he honestly thinks that Hitler never met Stalin? You never know…). So go ahead and try it yourself, don’t forget to experiment with spices and proportions. Hope you will enjoy one more peaceful supper.
Sincerely yours,
Mrs Lovett
Mrs Lovett
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